THE PARADOX OF FAILURE BY GABRIELA DICRISTOFORO
So, funny story, I’ve been sitting here trying to write the perfect blog post for the last five hours. Writing and rewriting, pivoting topics, trying to figure out how to fit everything I wanted, needed to say into the suggested 50-200 word limit. Constantly checking the page for inspiration. I didn’t want to do it wrong. Finally landing on a topic that I deemed “ok.” This ok topic is failing and how it’s important and all that jazz.
I finally stepped away, satisfied for the time being with the work I had created. I came back and reread it and realized it was crap! At least it wasn’t what I wanted for this assignment. Like, I liked it. It was the story of how I used to paint and take risks but that gets harder as you get older because of the whole VOJ thing. But It was too literary sounding, to formal, too vague because I was trying to not mess up and stick to the word count. That’s when I realized I wasn’t doing what I was writing about. I was trying to be safe. Find the right answer rather than the best answer.
I’ve realized that I spend too much time worrying about finding the “right” answer. The stress of doing the wrong thing makes me procrastinate the task until the last minute or not even do it at all. For example, I’ve had a list of emails to send for the last week… have I sent them? No. Because they are to important people and it’s scary. What if I say the wrong thing? Another example was when I came to college I was trying to decide on a major and I decided against graphic design, marketing, and/or psychology because I didn’t think I could do it. How did I know if I could do it or not? I had never tried!
That’s the funny thing about failure. Or maybe it’s the great thing about it; it is a paradox. Trying comes with the risk of failing but the only real lasting failure is not trying at all. Therefore, failing actually becomes a form of success. So, turns out I was very successful today. I failed dozens of times and in doing so I was led to many right answers, but one best answer.